Haikus on the Subject of VH1's Rock of Love with Bret Michaels
By Tija Gupta

You think I am a
Hoochie. But I only strip
Because Bret likes it.

My ex understands.
We talked about it last night
Right after phone sex.

You know they're not real.
That doesn't mean you can keep
Squeezing them like that.

Another shot? Sure.
Oh my God. I want to die.
I need to puke. Now.

Why did he keep her?
He just lost a good woman.
It's back to the pole.

——

Tija Gupta wants to remind every reality TV contestant out there that the mind is a terrible thing to waste.

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